Severus Snape's Last Love
by Connhamaru Hatake
Summary: Lily Evans was his first love, but she was not his last.


Lily Evans was his first love, but she wasn't his last.

Severus Snape was a pawn and a spy to Dumbledore, a Death Eater and a supposed-to-be loyal servant of the Dark Lord Voldemort, and driven by guilt, he dedicated his life to protecting The-Boy-Who-Lived. He blamed himself for the death of his first love and only friend Lily Evans-Potter for he was the one who told the Dark Lord of the Prophecy, but when he found out that the prophecy was about the child of Lily and James Potter, he begged Dumbledore to protect Lily, he begged Voldemort to spare the life of Lily Potter, but Lily chose death to protect her son, and Severus was left with a broken heart and a grieving soul, a boy to protect, and masters to please.

He was lost with out his love, his life dimmer than the Dungeons of Hogwarts, colder than winter itself, Lily was his light, she was his warmth, and now she's gone for good because of him.

Hermione Jean Granger, the Insufferable-Know-It-All and Brain of the Golden Trio, grew up to be a fine young woman, as much as Severus hated to admit. During her sixth year at Hogwarts, everyone on the opposite gender was drooling over her beauty, but as for Severus, it wasn't her beauty that captured his interest, as much as the woman irritated him, she was intelligent and in constant need to feed her hunger for knowledge just like him. She was insufferable, yes, but she was also a brilliant witch.

Severus' heart beat for the first time in a long time the moment he laid his eyes on the beauty that was Hermione. She was stunning in her simple pink dress as it hangs around her perfect curves like a complete seductress, she was shining under the dimly lit office of Horace Slughorn where the Slughorn's Christmas Party for his favourite students, former students and their dates was held. She was dancing with Mr. McLaggen and she looks very uncomfortable, and when the music stopped, he saw her running away from the boy. She seems to be hiding from him behind the curtain, and without his permission his feet immediately followed her, but instead the McLaggen boy beat him to it, good thing she escaped again. He saw Harry Potter hiding behind the curtain where Hermione was previously hiding, he was with Mr. McLaggen, and when he approached them, the said boy had the audacity to vomit on his shoes. With pleasure, he docked him a fair amount of points, and proceeded to talk to Potter.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking of her! First because she was his student, second she was half his age, and third they were in a war for Merlin's sake! He should be just thinking about Lily, his lost love and his guilt, and not the Insufferable-know-It-All! He was given an order that will change everyone's perspective about him, and she will grow to hate him for it, everyone but the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters will hate him for it. Albus Dumbledore gave him the task that only he can do; to kill the man himself. Dumbledore was dying because of his stupidity from even thinking about wearing the cursed ring that turned out to be a Horcrux and he was to end his suffering from the curse and at the same time sparing Draco Malfoy's soul from breaking. It was also part of Dumbledore's twisted plan to make Voldemort give his trust to Severus by ending the old wizard's life. He knew that Severus can be given the position of the Headmaster if he were to regain the Dark Lord's trust and he also knew that Severus can protect Harry Potter and Hogwarts more when he's by the Dark Lord's side. Those were the things he should be thinking about and not the annoying woman!

Severus knew he would not live to see the day that the world is free from the threat of the Dark Lord. He had accepted his death long before he even learned to live, yet when the image of a certain Know-It-All kept on appearing in his mind, he knew he wanted to live. Holy Merlin's beard she was an insufferable Gryffindor, he was the bloody Head of the Slytherin House, they were like heaven and hell, angel and demon, mortal enemies, he's not supposed to be feeling something for her! Yet there he was, a half empty bottle of firewhiskey in hand, thinking about her like his life depend on it. There's no chance in hell that she was falling in love with the greasy git, bat of the dungeon, not to mention her bastard of a Posions Professor, yes, no chance at all. She was way too beautiful, too pure to even consider looking at his tainted, ugly soul, especially now that he's officially the murderer of Albus Dumbledore.

When he saw her for the last time at the Shrieking Shack, he wanted to tell her how much he loved her, yes, it was too late when he realized he loved her, he was bleeding out and the venom of the bastard's snake was in his bloodstream, paralysing him, and he knew it was only a matter of seconds before death finally takes him. But he didn't wish to die, not anymore. When he lost Lily, all he wanted to do was end his life, but when he found Hermione, all he wanted to do was live. And now it's too late, he will die without telling her what he truly feel, he does not care if she rejected her, or despised her after, he just wanted to tell her that his heart belongs to her now no matter how much unrequited it was.

Life was unfair to him, he knew that from the beginning. Having a bastard of a muggle father, and a pureblood mother that was disowned by her family for marrying a muggle, grew up hated by his father for being able to wield magic, and being the last heir of the Prince family but he was never accepted for being a Half-Blood, for being the only and last Half-Blood Prince. Then he met Lily Evans, became friends with her, fell in love with her, broke his heart because of her, then she died because of him, and when he was given the chance to love again, he was doomed to die. He just wanted life to spare him just another minute, enought to tell the girl he love how much she means to to him despite of his reputation as the heartless, emotionless, greasy git of the dungeon, how much his heart ache to see her lost her innocence from the death and cruelty that the war brought upon them, the war is not over yet and he wanted to protect her until it ends, he wanted to be there with her up until the end, he wanted to see her safe and happy, and until then he would willingly offer his life to death, but he was never given the chance, because life was unfair to him.

With one last look to Hermione Granger, Severus Snape closed his eyes and reluctantly accepted the hands of death. He saw her face one last time. The face of the woman that will never be his, the woman that he can never have the chance to love and care, but it's alright, as long as she's alive and safe, he will give up everything and he already gave up his life. He will wait for her in another life, even if it means he'll wait for all eternity.

Hermione Granger may not be his first love, but she was his last, until death brought them apart.


End file.
